The end of chapter 3

Have you ever imagine what’s like to be you in the next 5 year or more? Quick tips, don’t do it. LMAO. Sorry, i don’t really mean that. It was just a sentences that makes me feel better because i did it, and it was not even close to what i am imagine what kind of person will i be 5 years ago. It hurts, it is. When you can’t be something that you were dreaming of. But if ain’t hurting you, that can be the time when you cant even breath. that is why we call it alive.

Let’s just cut the crap. we are moving to what i really want to write at the first place.


I have been through a lot in my life, sometimes they were going as what i planed, but mostly the don’t. live is full of surprises, may be that is why the Radiohead don’t want to be surprised as what they wrote on “no surprises” song. So, basically i have divided my life as a chapters. But now, as for me, i think this one is the end of the third chapter of my life. I can’t exactly tell what makes it a chapter. i just knew it!. But for a hint, i think it’s just how different i am from one chapter to another, like being another person of mine. And i guess it caused by experiences and lessons that i learn from each chapter. But you know what, i am a dickhead from all of the chapters. LMAO

First chapter was kind of normal, being a good kid that you’r parents proud of or just trying to be that shit. Nothing interesting. I can tell that the end of this chapter was when i am not accepted at the high school as i really wanted. but god give me what i needed. If only i was accepted on that high school, i can even guarantee you what am i doing know, tomorrow and the next other day. It’s being a competitive bastard which feeling like i can be better than anyone else in this fucking world. I can’t even imagine to have friends, they are all competitors.

It was a gate for the next chapter, which is the opposite of the first one. I was giving up trying to be better than anyone else, it was not because i don’t want to. Simply it was because i can’t. Being a retarded ugly person which has nothing to be proud of. The grades that always been a topics of my parents and talked about, it is now a shit that a really don’t want to talk about. It was a deep depressed when you were the one that everyone knows you because of your achievement, but now you are a no one, which only known by the school engineer and be friend with them.

This Chapter

Hey man, writing this shit is just making me realized, that i can grow from one shit to a better one is just because i got rejected or the life just hit me straight on my face. I was going for the next chapter because i also cant get what i really wanted. Wtf, my life is very suck, omg i just realized it.

Enough from the past. From all of the chapters that i have been through, this one if my favorite, the third chapter of my life. It is because i just found out what really matters on living a life. at least for now.


You know what. Man, we dont need to have everyone that cares to us. Why should we make people notice us that much?. Also why should we care about everyone too? exhausted right? i have learn in this chapter that we dont need to care to people which not even care to us. We dont need to think about how people think about us. We just need to think about people that also think about us. As simple as that, your live change a lot


About dream, i may be a dreamer. I always wanted something which realistically so fucking hard to get. Don’t worry, there is also a time when i read something that people write on the internet. I knew her. she write that dont waste your time dreaming. Based on her story, she was just ended up to be a normal housewife which only taking care of her husband and childrens. Although at the first place she wanted to be a writer which known by a lot of people in this planet. At that time, there’s a part of me which believing the story, and i tell to my self to stop making jokes of yourself to have such a lot daydream.

But, ironically the other part of me is just keep believing that she’s just giving up on trying. I believe that if she’s not giving up for just like some time more in the future. She wont just ended up like what she doent wanted to be. Hey girl, if that is easy, i bet everyone will get what they wanted. Back to what i said at first. That is live

At the end, i just still ended up as a dreamer. I still believe that you cant kill a dream. At least that is what i hear from Pandji. You cant kill your dream, it will just be sleeping. And when you get older, it will just come back to you as a regretion.


I dont have any idea about this. At least, at the first time of entering this chapter. Even, i dont even wrote anything about this in my book. Because, yeah i dont know what it is. I purposely make this section blank in “reztart” book, becase i believe some day i can define what is this word means to me in the future. But i guess i am wrong. It does toke a while but not as long as i thought. i found that what it is now.

It begins when i realized that we dont need to care about what all of the people think of us. We just need to think about the one that also think about us. Also, i was stuck in the concept of the friends. At the past, i was thinking that we can be a friend when both side agreed on calling each other friend. but time by time, i got something that i realized.

Why can’t you just ask yourself who the fuck are your friends. Simple, every name, everyone that comes on your mine, they are your friends. why should we give a fuck on what if she/he doesnt think that your are his/her friend. come one man, grow up. You can’t force people to think and feel the same as you are. You can feel the one who really care for you, and you also care for them!


Theres still a lot of lesson i learn in this chapter, even until this writing. I still cant decide which one is more valuable. Because all of them are. I cant decide which one should i share to people or which one should i enjoy it myself. Doest matter tho, this writiing is not mean to be anyone but me. I Hope this one will be usefull when i lose my self in the future. I need some reminder of how i going through my life chapter. What kind of person i was, and what i wanted to be in the future. Sorry for not sharing all of this, since it is just a message that i really wanted to say to myself.

For those who know me. i wish i can still be the one that you wanted to know. And i am lucky to have you, since i can tell the changes of me when i go through more chapters of this shit. You guys always said i am a different person, may be i am. But do i keep changing? No, i just keep growing. Rather it is for a good call or a bad call, its my job to ask you guys who cares to me, and be a reminder of me. Some day mate, In the future!


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