Sudah lama semenjak kita tak bersama. Tak apa, aku dan saya pun belum mendapat titik temu untuk menjadi satu untuk saat ini. Sudah 5 bulan, 8 hari, 11 jam, 7 menit dan 49 detik semenjak terakhir kali saya mengutarakan argumentasi saya melalui tulisan di website ini. Sekali lagi, senang bertemu kembali. Mencoba menjadi saya seperti biasnya, agak terlalu sulit untuk hari-hari seperti sekarang ini.
Sebelumnya, tulisan ini hanyalah sebuah perayaan saya atas kembalinya saya mencoba meluangkan waktu untuk seorang anak. Anak yang menurut saya belum layak untuk dilepas dan menjadi mandiri. Masih banyak yang harus saya bimbing dan ajarkan kepadanya. Tidak akan ada monetasi atau search engine optimization pada tulisan ini. Hanya kita berdua, aku dan saya.
Tidak banyak yang kudapat untuk dibagikan akhir-akhir ini, hanya beberapa realitas yang mau tidak mau harus diterima dan dihadapi. Mencoba mencari arti sebagai manusia yang diperuntukan oleh tuhan untuk mencari diri sendiri. Memilih antara mimpi dan kenyataan. Mencoba mengenal diri sendiri lebih dari orang lain, dan hal-hal duniawi lainnya.
Satu yang sangat membekas dan bertahan lama, mungkin sampai detik ini, adalah pemahaman bahwa semua yang kita lakukan akan berkonsekuensi, baik hal yang baik ataupun buruk, baik langsung ataupun tidak langsung, baik tertanam atau tidaknya. Mungkin terdengar seperti pepatah tua, bahkan omong kosong yang sering diutarakan orang-orang yang sudah berumur. Tenang, saya juga merasakan hal yang sama pada awalnya. Hanya saja, perkataan yang awalnya omong kosong akhirnya sedikit membekas di hidup saya.
Jika saja saya memilih untuk berhenti di bulan kedua saya belajar design grafis, mungkin sekarang saya tidak akan mendapatkan uang dari hal tersebut. Jika saja saya lebih memilih untuk lelah dan berhenti karena pekerjaan yang tidak sepadan dengan bayarannya, saya tidak akan sampai ke titik ini. Lelah itu pilihan, percayalah. Tidak apa jika apa yang kau usahakan tidak terbayarkan dengan semestinya, karena pada waktu yang tepat tuhan akan membayarkan hakmu yang belum terbayarkan. Pasti. Saya membuktikannya sendiri
Akan ada saat dimana kau mendapatkan apa yang kau harusnya dapatkan. Akan ada saat ketika apa yang kau kerjakan sama berharganya bahkan melebihi apa yang kau usahakan. Semua ada konsekuensinya, termasuk waktu, tenaga dan hal lainnya.
Lalu bagaimana ketika saya memilih untuk tidak percaya? pertanyaannya dapat dijawab dengan pertanyaan. Apa ruginya ketika percaya? apakah kau kehilangan sesuatu jika percaya? Jika pu tidak maka tidak ada yang dirugikan. Jadi apa ruginya percaya kepada hal-hal baik?
Lakukanlah apapun sebagaimana hatimu mengajakmu mengudara. Jangan hiraukan orang lain yang membuat kau tersendat. Namun, jika apa yang kau kerjakan tidak sepadan dengan apa yang kau dapatkan, tak apa. Semua akan terbalaskan di waktu yang tepat. Saya merasakan sendiri, semuanya berdatangan di waktu yang tepat. Hanya saja, kau harus terus mengikuti apa kata hatimu. Beliau yang lebih tau dari siapapun tentang dirimu.
Karena masalah yang berat bukan berawal dari luar dirimu, melainkan dirimu sendiri.
Senang bertemu kembali,
G. Mardani.
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